Time passes

l have dyslexia please excuse any spelling or grammar mistakes !

18/03/2020

Sitting in my favourite  coffee shop Blue and Berry in Felixstowe , such a lovely place for me to write my blog, been thinking how to  document my chain of thoughts that don’t come across rambling but love the idea l am having a conversation with someone , you jump from different subjects.

Think this maybe why l call my abstract art ‘Shadows’ its how l feel about dad, shadows of memories of time with him, although he was not an absent farther like my daughters dad, he was emotionally absent in my life.

The unintentional connection with chairs l have found within my practice, why l am drawn to them, l have spent my whole life sitting on chairs either for an appointment at hospital or sitting out of something l could not do because my stump was hurting or maybe because l was deemed unable to do whatever sport or activity was on at time.

Remember mum saying ‘go look down the sides of dads chair for loose change’ that had fallen from his pockets, often found a bob there.

As a child would play ball up against the wall in our garage, one day l found l kept hitting one of my old legs that dad had hung up. I moved it and found a bird had made a nest in it, that always makes me chuckle.

Can remember coming home from school and mum had bought me a tutu and ballet slippers as l had joined a dance class even though l could not point my foot she always wanted me to try new things even within my limitation.

When l was a baby mum left me outside Woolworths in my pram all covered up so no one could see my leg, she went in with Mark my brother. When she came out she found some ladies were looking at me with sympathy she had up till this point rejected me, she felt such protection and love for me she soon told them to bugger off.

09/03/2020

Sitting in my favourite  coffee shop Blue and Berry in Felixstowe , such a lovely place for me to write my blog, been thinking how to  document my chain of thoughts that don’t come across rambling but love the idea l am having a conversation with someone , you jump from different subjects.

The unintentional connection with chairs l have found within my practice, why l am drawn to them, l have spent my whole life sitting on chairs either for an appointment at hospital or sitting out of something l could not do because my stump was hurting or maybe because l was deemed unable to do whatever sport or activity was on at time.

Remember mum saying ‘go look down the sides of dads chair for loose change’ that had fallen from his pockets, often found a bob there.

As a child would play ball up against the wall in our garage, one day l found l kept hitting one of my old legs that dad had hung up. I moved it and found a bird had made a nest in it, that always makes me chuckle.

Can remember coming home from school and mum had bought me a tutu and ballet slippers as l had joined a dance class even though l could not point my foot she always wanted me to try new things even within my limitation.

When l was a baby mum left me outside Woolworths in my pram all covered up so no one could see my leg, she went in with Mark my brother. When she came out she found some ladies were looking at me with sympathy she had up till this point rejected me, she felt such protection and love for me she soon told them to bugger off.

06/03/2020

Christmas mornings in my younger days was hard as dad seem to hate opening presents in front of us, Mark and l would be excited waiting for him to get up, we never understand  why he took so long but looking back l came to realise it was just his way.

It is something that has filtered through my life in so many ways, unaware it has but since my journey of art it really has brought a lot of things to the surface.

When at uni l created a short film relating to this, called my fallen hero, mum said he seemed embarrassed, seemed like he hated to show any emotions.

24/02/2020

Been thinking how l should document my chain of thoughts within this  blog,

Images loaded of new work shows the thought process behind it, so  the viewer can understand the work but hopefully can  see the strong connection.

The power of social media is such a big help for someone limited to the outside world, but could  destroy your confidence if you allow it.

Looking back over emotions l have faced  being a single mum  really shows how to  appreciat  my mum although dad was there to start with but unfortunately stop speaking a few years ago am unsure if he has health issues.
My painting have taken on a kinda shadowy perception, maybe elements of my mind as it travels through my pass .

My dog Loui is my reason to get up every day,walk him and his sister Reba,  mum dog appreciate my precious time with mum, enjoy listening to her recollections of our lives. I wonder how my life would have turned out without her; no nonsense  approach, maybe being brought up with both being ex military helped,

Loui my boy

11/2/2020

Looking at past installation artist who inspired my practice,  one of my favorites  Tracy Emin she places  children chairs in front of a TV with headphone connected to a DVD player which plays a conversation she had with her mum regarding an abortion she had years ago and how she is feeling now.

My mum often speaks about her experience of having a disabled child in the 60’s as l was born in the same area as thalidomide but only found out later on the link was more in connection with dad being on Christmas Island in the 50’s.

This is am afraid still under investigation to this day, this is another story to be told within my practice.

Degree Show 2013 - video 

10/2/2020

Becoming an artist was always going to be a big challenge financially but sometimes it’s more about the journey that we travel than the destination.

The amount of times l have started a mood diary is numerous times, but l have come to conclusion  if l collect them all up l can tie them together and see a pattern.

I look at what lies ahead of me and l see lots of the same, going round in circles saying l am going to try this or that to make myself feel better about myself.

It is amazing how much time has gone since leaving full time work, the achievements since, from learning to paint with watercolors as a hobby to going to college in art and design to final completing my degree in Fine Art

Being born with disabled  issues has always felt  a struggle  sometimes, the feeling of not being accepted within society, what is my place to achieve the most happiness for me.

Images loaded of new work shows the thought process behind it, so not only the viewer can understand the work but l can also see the strong connection.

The power of social media is such a big help for someone limited to the outside world.